Why do I teach?

I once read a teacher's coffee mug that stated: "There are three reasons I teach...June, July, and August." I thought of that yesterday, my first official day of summer vacation. Having summers off is a glorious experience....those long, carefree days stretching out in front of me like a shimmering mirage, but those who know me well know why I teach.
I don't remember a time when I did not want to be a teacher. I remember telling my 6th Grade classmates I wanted to be an English teacher. Their response was, "E-e-w!" accompanied by a wrinkled up nose, as if they had just caught a whiff of a skunk. When I finally reached that goal (at the age of 40), I was deliriously happy. I have loved every one of the 14 years since then.
Before school was out this summer, my Juniors had a book signing party. I had assigned a ten-page book detailing various topics, such as their favorite writing assignment, funniest incident, hair and clothing styles, etc. We then passed the books around and they wrote in them, so they could share their junior year memories and good wishes for each other. I passed around some papers for the students to sign for me. Here are a few of the responses from these 17-year-old young adults:
"Mrs. Harvey, I hate writing with a passion and you make me do a lot of work, but it's ok because you are a good teacher and I learned a lot from you."
"I love the way you teach and our assignments are fun. I'm looking forward to next year!"
"Not sure how you did it, but you turned some of my most hated classes into some of my favorites. I've enjoyed all of the compliments you give on my assignments. It's nice to hear them when they come so seldom."
"You always encouraged me to do my best and I have felt that you will always be there for me. Thank you for that!"
"I wish everyone taught the way you do."
"You have always been there to explain something when I didn't catch on. Thank you for that."
"I really love the way you don't let us talk bad about each other. We were bad about that. Thank you."
"I am glad I could express my love for writing music. It's cool that you like your students."
While I am going to thoroughly enjoy my summer vacation, that is not why I teach. I teach for the reasons listed above.

Spring

I love spring! It is my favorite season of the year. I love the soft breeze and fresh green grass after the cold, harsh months and and endless sea of white and brown. Every year I think I will notice the exact day the grass in the yard turns green, but I miss it. One day, I look around and notice the yard and pasture glowing as vibrantly green as a four-leaf clover. Today, as I was pulling the dead stalks of flowers that I should have taken care of last fall out of the flower bed, I noticed them! Two yellow crocuses blooming by a flower pot. Hallelujah! I thanked God for this day and for bringing the promise of spring to me in the form of green grass and yellow crocuses. I love spring!

Dance Routine Video

I survived the dance routine. We had so much fun! I will let the video speak for itself. Click on the youtube link if you would like to see it. I am the one with the pigtails if you can't tell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZQowJwul8Y

Dance Routine

I am going to perform in front of the entire school with six teenagers in a dance routine for a pep assembly next week for standardized testing. It is hard to explain, but we are going to have different words on the fronts and backs of our t-shirts and we spin and twirl around to spell out sentences to the techno tune, "Daft Bodies." The plan is for me to do "The Pony" and twirl around. I will also do some Breakfast Club dance moves, as well as Stomp the Yard. We are doing a wave and sending it back. I was jumping around in circles, until I practiced in front of the mirror. I told my students that for a couple of reasons, I was not going to jump anymore, but would instead just turn. They laughed. This is a little out of my comfort zone, but I am going for it. How many more chances could I possibly have to be in a dance routine? I will tell you how it goes, and possibly post a video or pictures for proof.

Thoughts

I went for a walk outside today after being cooped up so long this winter. Lately, I just dash to my Jeep, and go where I must, hunched over, fighting the biting cold. Today there is a softness to the air that says, "Spring" to me. I walked by the smooth, snowy area which will become Blaine's abundant garden and bales of hay wrapped up in the blazing heat of summer, but which now look like cupcakes slathered with white frosting. I even walked past the junk ditch and grew nostalgic thinking of the discarded dreams resting there; two faded, old trucks which had once been shiny and new, metal lawn chairs that had rested on a front porch, and remnants of a little shed I helped Blaine build from recycled materials. We were so proud of it at the time, but we have fancier, much larger sheds now. I thought about discarded dreams, as well as dreams that came true beyond our imagination as I looked at the snowy pastures surrounding me and the towering pine trees we planted from tiny seedlings. "Embrace the day," they whispered to me. I walked and I thought, and I thought and I walked. Then it occurred to me, 'I should write a blog'....and so here it is.

You Can't Beat That With Roses

Last night I stayed after school for my first Young Author's Club meeting, then tutored a young man for another hour, so I did not get home until 5:30. I smelled the smoky barbecue aroma as I pulled into the garage. As I walked to the house, I was surprised to see my husband sitting in the hot tub. "Are you getting in?" he asked.
"Sure!" was my reply. Grilled pork sirloin chops and vegetables were keeping warm on the wood stove. I dashed out of the house in my swim suit and terry cloth robe, and sank into the 101 degree hot tub with my hubby. Snow flakes drifted down around us.
Today is Valentine's Day. Some teachers received roses. I didn't, but do you think I care? No, I just smiled, and remembered the luxury of coming home to a hot meal, a hot tub, and yes, I'll say it, a hot man. You can't beat that with roses!

Outdoor Leadership Experience

“I’m not much of a risk taker.” This was the quote that my new friend, Craig, recorded me saying in his journal at the Outdoor Leadership Academy I participated in last October. He shared it with me at our recent reunion at Osage Beach. The Outdoor Leadership Experience will always be among the high points in my life. I knew that we would have the opportunity to rock climb, rappel, and hike through the woods for hours. I was just getting over some kind of nasty virus, and felt kind of weak. Numerous worries plagued me. What if I held my group back, because most of them were younger than me? I worried that I would need to use the bathroom, and there would not be a tree wide enough for me to hide behind. On our first night, we met to discuss the next few days. We were encouraged to ask questions. An extremely well-groomed woman from St. Louis asked, “Where are the bathrooms?”

“Behind a tree,” was the answer.

“No, I mean for the ladies,” she drawled.

“Behind a lady tree,” our leader answered.

We discovered we were to be one of the first groups to rock climb and rappel in the morning. We trudged through the rain to our unheated cabins, took showers in a bathroom with cement floors that made our feet dirtier than they were when we went in, and snuggled into sleeping bags and blankets for our first night’s sleep. We awoke early, ate a hearty breakfast, and loaded in the van to go to the rocks. There, a group of young men explained the equipment, procedures…and passed around the paper that we signed to say we would not sue, even in the case of death. I was strapped into a harness to rock climb first. When I was halfway up the rock, my legs began to shake, and I said I wanted to come down. I was encouraged by my teammates and the rock climbing expert to press ahead. “You are almost there,” they yelled up at me. So I gritted my teeth and climbed on. I made it to the top!

Next came the rappelling experience. My stomach flip-flopped as I looked down the ledge. “Lean back as far as you can, put your feet apart and hop,” said the expert, who held the other end of the rope in case I fell. The first hop was the hardest. Especially since I heard that another man on our team, Henry, an ex-Army man, who went all out, had straddled a tree on his way down! My main concern was that I had to rely on myself to hold the rope. I was afraid I was not strong enough to hold my own body strength. Taking a deep breath, I hopped. Hey! Maybe I can do this! I continued hopping down to the ground. “Belay off,” I called. I still do not know what that means, but it is at that point they let the rope go. Woo-hoo! I survived! We spent the afternoon day doing team building challenges, reflecting in our journals, and preparing our required skit for the evening. I volunteered to sing “I Will Survive” with my group members as backup singers. We laughed at the skits, then were moved to tears when members shared their private thoughts on “the stump” in front of the fire.

The next morning we set off for our orienteering experience. Various flags were hidden in the Ozark woods, and we were trained to read a compass and plot the direction of the flags. Our expert outdoorsman “Sparky” also addressed the bathroom issue by demonstrating how to dig a hole by a tree, lean against it, and…well, I will leave the rest to your imagination. (My new-found friend Craig was the designated shovel carrier, and delighted in asking us if we needed the shovel when we tried to head unobtrusively for a tree.) Our mission was to take turns leading our crew through the woods. We piled in a van and were dropped off at the designated area. We were fortunate to have a beautiful, mild fall day for our hike. I came to appreciate my group members. Craig and Dave, true gentlemen who gave us a hand across creeks, Jennifer and Andrea, who thrived on being leaders, Mary, always sweet and encouraging, Kim, my Macon friend who looked out after me, Shantel, our designated “Raccoon Circle” caller when we needed to regroup, Holly, who always had a smile and was quietly confident, Parisa, the down-to-earth principal who collected an armadillo shell in a bag and carried it miles to take back to show her students. We were led by our facilitators Carol and Mel, who repeatedly told us we were the best group they ever had!

We trekked up and down hills, through the woods, across creeks, and through pine trees. We stopped and built a fire to cook a meal, then pushed on to cross the lake before dark. When darkness fell, it was more difficult to go through the woods, but it was my favorite of all the experiences. Sparky told us the best way to navigate was to send someone ahead to go several feet, then turn and shine a flashlight back for the others. Whoever was reading the compass would shout out, “To the left,” or “A little more to the right.” When the scout was in the correct spot, they would come toward the light. David and I volunteered to go ahead in the dark and “blaze the trail.” I loved it. Sparky highly complimented me later when he asked me, “Where did that crazy pioneer woman come from?” I had one moment of uncertainty. I climbed a steep hill, crawling on my hands and knees. When I arrived at the top, I turned off my light for a while to conserve the battery. I quavered, “Sparky, are there mountain lions around here?” No response. My teammates climbed toward me, and we found the spot where we were to eat our evening meal. As my friends and I headed for a private spot in the trees together, Craig generously asked us if we needed the shovel. We politely declined by yelling at him to direct his flashlight in another direction! We made it back to camp, singing loudly in case anyone else dared to sleep, at about 11:30 p.m. We headed to the kitchen to wash our campfire dishes, stumbled back to our cabins for showers and sleep.
When we said goodbye on our last day, I could not help but cry. These people became my friends for life through this experience. I learned to value the strengths of others, as well as my own. I built self-confidence. If I can scale rocks, rappel down them, and trudge through the woods for 12 hours, I can do anything. More importantly, I learned the importance of building strength in others. It is amazing how a few words of honest, heartfelt encouragement can motivate someone to go farther, climb higher, or solve a problem by looking at it in a different way. I know it worked for me. I can only aspire to pass that gift on to others in my life.

The Fog Has Lifted

Photo by Lane Hartill/CRS

When I looked out the window this morning, my first inclination was to whine, “Oh…it’s foggy again. I need some sunshine.” Then I watched CNN. I saw video footage of bodies piled in the streets after the massive earthquake in Haiti. The estimation is now that at least 100,000 people have died. The survivors desperately need food, water, medical supplies. I heard about surgeries being performed without anesthesia. Not minor surgeries… amputations. I heard about doctors, fearing for their safety, who left their patients due to threats of violence. Dr. Gupta and the TV crew treated those people through the night. He said these conditions had not existed since the Civil War. I saw a baby being pulled from the rubble after days of being trapped. What impressed me most was the church service being conducted on this Sunday morning. People with their hands raised in the air, praying, crying, giving thanks they have survived. The minister told them they had been saved for some great purpose in their lives. Haven’t we all? Do we pursue that purpose with the passion that we should? Do we give thanks enough for the abundant blessings we possess?
I look out my window at the fog-kissed farm fields and thank God for my blessings. The fog has lifted from my selfish mind.

New Year's Resolution

I have been thinking about what I want to resolve this New Year 2010. I even Googled the top ten list of resolutions. There were the obvious ones I always pick, exercise more regularly, lose weight, eat more healthy foods, but I want to be different this year. So one resolution I am going to make is to allow myself to write more without thinking it has to be perfect. As an English teacher, I always think everything I write should be perfect, and, of course, while I will always strive for grammatical and mechanical accuracy, but I am letting the fear of not being perfect hold me back from expressing myself. I read my talented fellow bloggers' posts, and I feel that I must strive for those lofty combination of words that tug at my heart and bring tears to my eyes or make me laugh. If I were making my teacher comments on them, I would write "this flows well" and "you captured that emotion perfectly". I let myself be stifled by a fear of not being perfect like all of you. I am setting myself free of that expectation this year. If I want to write a few lines about nothing in particular, then I am going to do it! Being a writer means writing! The courage to put pen to paper. Work on volume and value will come along with it. Write on!

My second resolution is to not worry so much. I have wasted years of my life worrying about my family, friends, and students. Worrying does not help anyone, and it actually hurts the health of the person doing it. Most of what I worried about never came to pass. I read a magnet stuck to a computer recently that said, "Worry about nothing. Pray about everything." I am reading Joel Osteen's It's Your Time, and it is inspiring me to think positively that great things are possible if I am open to them. Instead of worrying about something which may never happen, I am working on changing the negative messages to positive ones. This is easier said than done, but I am working hard to consciously put on my mental brakes when worry creeps in and say, "Stop it. Go away. You are wasting my time." Then I replace the negative thought with a positive one.

My third resolution is to live in the moment. Appreciate my blessings. Spend time with those I love. Make memories. The recent deaths of young men in their 40s in our community prove there is no guarantee of a tomorrow, so make today count for something. I am going to savor every experience that comes my way.

Well, there you have it. I have written down my resolutions and shared them with my friends and family, which is supposed to increase my chances of being successful in keeping them. I will keep you posted on how it goes. And, oh, yeah, I want to exercise more, eat more veggies, and lose weight, too.

Reaching for the Phone

Celebrating Christmas without loved ones who have passed on is no easy task. This year marks the first without my father. I miss him terribly, often thinking of tidbits of news I would like to share with him. I remember having a conversation with my “second mother,” Virginia Grubbs, on this topic.
“Oh, you don’t know how many times I reached for the phone to call my mother after she passed away,” she said. I found comfort in that when my hand was inches from the phone after my mother passed away. I had thought of a recipe I needed and I actually walk toward the phone to call her. I shared this with my sister-in-law after her mother’s death. She is several years younger than me and gave me her, “Yeah, but you are old and senile” look. Later, she admitted I was right. She, too, had reached for the phone to call her mother. Yesterday, as I drove along in my Jeep, I found myself missing Daddy in a wave that washed over me without warning. There were some family updates I wanted to tell him, so I decided to talk to him anyway.
“Lance's hens laid their first egg, Daddy, and Kevin said he really likes your old car. He drove for a week on $15! You always said it got good gas mileage, but were afraid to brag. Blaine and I went out and cut down a real cedar tree this year. It made me think of Christmases on the farm when I was growing up. I miss you and Mom. I love you.”
Somehow, I felt better sharing that with him. No, I didn’t actually reach for the phone, but I would like to think he heard me anyway.

New Bike

This Christmas Vanita and Blaine Lee's families surprised me with a new bike. I have been wanting a plain bike to ride on country roads. My wish list included: no hand breaks, because I am old school and ended up pedaling backwards and running into things or flipping over on my head; no multiple gears because anyone who knows me knows I do not like anything mathematical, and I do not know whether to shift up or down to climb a hill; and most importantly, no skinny little seat that does not begin accommodate my ample derriere. Somehow, they found a Hornet royal blue La Jolla Women's Cruiser that fit my wish list perfectly! They got it into my utility room without me knowing about it. When I saw it, of course, I squealed with delight. I jumped on it and rode it through my kitchen. Later that night, I realized it is my first new bike. As the baby of four children, I always rode my sister and brother's bikes. Janie had a nice green one, and Clayton's was red. I never thought about it until Christmas night, when I experienced the thrill of receiving the gift of a shiny new bicycle. Now I am seriously considering tricking it out with a wicker basket for the front and maybe a horn for fun!

Memories of a Friend

To my lifelong friend, Kathy Marlene,
This is your birthday poem from Judy Coleen,
A lifetime of memories and love we share,
We have always been quite the pair!
We never whined, “We’re bored; we have nothing to do.”
We loved playing dress up, wearing your mother’s red shoes.
And remember getting lost in the woods, playing pioneers?
The times we shared all of our secret hopes and fears,
Comprehending feelings and thoughts with just a glance
Remember the “sock-hops” and the Sadie Hawkins dance?
And the summer we sang at the Atlanta Homecoming talent show,
I sang high and you sang low.
Sometimes we laughed, often we cried,
My true feelings from you I never had to hide.
As “mature women” by others we may be seen,
But when I am with you, I feel about sixteen.
Even though we may only see each other once a year,
I find comfort in knowing that for me, you will always be there.
You are tucked away in my heart and mind,
Our lives are destined to be forever intertwined.
Love you always,
Judy Coleen

Exercise

I have made a vow to exercise this summer. I walked every day last summer with some success, then, during the school year, I fell into my old bad habits, one of which was eating school lunch. I like the school lunches. We have a lunch lady who makes homemade hot rolls that are excellent. Homemade desserts, like cookies and apple crisp are also on the menu. So, during the school year I quit walking and ate school lunch, and snacked too much in the evening and gained back the weight I had lost.

This summer, I decided to get back in shape. I have embarked on a varied exercise regimen. I walk, ride a recumbent exercise bike, do yoga for flexibility. Yesterday, I even did a “Dancing with the Stars” video, even though those skinny girls in the video who slink around like a cat when they walk made me feel a little inferior. I cha-chaed and rumbaed and even jazzed danced a little. Today I got out the stability ball and exercised with Denise Austin. ‘This is fun!’ I thought as I rotated back and forth on the ball. ‘Why haven’t I been doing this every day?'

Then I went a little too far to the left, and the darn thing bucked me off! I fell to the floor and couldn’t even stop myself! My hip and my pride were both a little bruised, but I was taught to get back on the horse, so I did. Tomorrow I am going to baby sit the three youngest grandchildren. I think for my weightlifting, I will lift little Megan up out of her bed; my core abdominal work will be to rock her in the rocking chair. For aerobics, I might push Jaron off on his bike as he is learning to ride, and run a few steps beside him. I will use my leg muscles to push the swing back and forth in the yard as Madison and I read a book. It sounds like an excellent workout to me!